


Sunset

by runningfromrealitytoanime



Series: Haikyuu Angst [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, M/M, dont kill me, follows the manga somewhat, not exactly a happy ending, sad shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:35:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24146761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runningfromrealitytoanime/pseuds/runningfromrealitytoanime
Summary: Why does Kageyama feel like he was missing something even though he was at the height of his career? Flashbacks and a return to his hometown unearth memories he would rather keep buried.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Series: Haikyuu Angst [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1742644
Comments: 10
Kudos: 62





	Sunset

**Author's Note:**

> This might be the first angsty KageHina fic I ever wrote so hope you guys like it! Thought heck, maybe its time to get back into angst and haven't really written KageHina before so here ya go!
> 
> Thought this song would pair quite nicely with this. Beth Crowley is one of my favourite singers and the fact she wrote most of her songs based on series like Mortal Instruments and Hunger games just makes me find more meaning in her songs. This song entitled [This Goodbye](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gIc2LoFmAM) is actually based off Hunger Games: Mockingjay and Katniss relationship with Prim and losing her and I think it fits this story just nicely. 
> 
> Enjoy!

The sun rose above the Brazil beach as he sat on the sand, the wind whipping through his hair as he watched the sunrise. Kageyama took a deep breath as he stilled himself, calming himself as he let himself get washed over by the smell of saltwater hitting his nose and the sun rising above his head, the warmth soaking him as he smiled.

Today was perfect.

He had a good career; at age 19, he was already on the Olympic team, a starting setter who set to Ushijima Wakatoshi on a daily basis. He was due to be on the Schweiden Adlers once he returns home from the Olympics, one of the best teams in the League. He had a family at home waiting for him, his sister and parents watching proudly from the tv as he served and set, cheering his name as he scored a point.

Everyone in Japan would chant his name when he scored a point, his former teammates making their way to his games whenever they could. He would be greeted by fans whenever he walked into the gym or on the street, screaming his name as he signed their shirts. The world was looking right at him all the time, the way he wanted to. He was finally the King of the Court that everyone loved.

So why did he cry whenever the sun rose in the sky?

Kageyama didn’t know when he started but he had picked up a habit of watching the sunrise every day for the past year. He would watch as it rose over the horizon, heat beating his body until his teammates yelled at him to go and eat. Somehow, he felt the pull of the sun as though someone was standing in front of him, their hair shining like a beacon of hope as the smiled.

Who was that sun Kageyama was searching for?

…

“And he scores again! Kageyama Tobio hits yet another service ace! At age 19, he’s already on the Olympic team with a bright future in volleyball once he returns to Japan!” the announcer said as his partner nodded, “Indeed. He has come a long way ever since his high school days. We thought he would never recover after the accident but he’s back at full force and even better than before.”

_Accident? What accident?_ Kageyama thought as he served the ball once more, their opponents barely able to get it up as they received it. The ball wobbled through the air, hitting the net as it toppled to their side. Komori narrowly managed to save it, the ball soaring towards Kageyama as he heard a single shout ringing in his mind.

“Toss here!”

He looked for the source of the voice to see a silhouette already flying through the sky, his arm whipped back as Kageyama tossed to him. he couldn’t recall having a teammate that short on the team, his face shrouded as he rose through the air. For some reason, the smile on his face tore through Kageyama’s heart as he set the ball to him, the figure spiking the ball with such force that it left trails on the ground as the whistle blew, signalling Japan’s win for the set. The crowd roared as Kageyama numbly felt some pats on his back, shaking out his thoughts as Ushijima walked towards him, a small smile on his face as he smiled, “Nice toss.”

“Sure,” Kageyama murmured as he was hustled off the court. Of course, it had been Ushijima who spiked the ball; he was their main spiker and the only one who truly trusted Kageyama’s volatile sets.

So why did it feel that the person whom he had set to was the only one he would ever truly set for and wanted to set to forever?

“Kageyama?” Komori asked as Kageyama felt some tears springing to his eyes, his heart welling as he tried to think of what was making him tremble. They had a good game, they won this round and they will be moving further up the Olympics.

So why did Kageyama feel as though he had just lost something important to him?

…

“Welcome home, Tobio!” Miwa called as she set the table for two. Kageyama nodded a greeting as he toed off his shoes, stepping into the genkan for the first time in months as his sister bustled around the kitchen. While the two of them haven’t been close for years ever since she quit volleyball, Miwa had asked him to move in with her when he began to train in Tokyo, stating that it was about time the two siblings got back together. It was strange at how she had suddenly decided to let him move in with her; from all he remembered, she had never once mentioned anything about wanting anything to do with him.

The house was as clean as it could get. Some stray clothes lay around the couch, Kageyama wrinkling his nose as he stepped past some underwear. He forgot that Miwa could be a bit dirty as he picked past her clothes and dumped them into the laundry basket, moving to toss his bag onto the floor and plonking down into the bed. He sighed with relief as he finally let himself loose, glad to be home as he soaked in the scent of his room.

His room remained the same as he had left it; a stack of volleyball CDs was haphazardly shoved into the corner of the unused study desk he had. A volleyball was rolled in the corner of the room where he had left it before flying off for the Olympics in Rio. His bed was tucked into the corners, the smell of washing detergent lingering from it as he took in a deep breath. As he smelt the familiar smell of the detergent he used, he caught a whiff of something else, of sunshine and happiness as he rolled around in the bed. A bed that would be big enough to hold two.

“Hey come on, Tobio! Come and eat before the food gets cold!” Miwa called as Kageyama shouted back that he was coming.

As he lay in bed that night and looked out at the stars, he couldn’t help but remember the times when he was back in Miyagi where he would go to the rooftop of his old home and stare at the stars. He would curl up in a sleeping bag and watch out for shooting stars, rubbing his hands to keep them warm as he enjoyed the sight. How he wished he could show someone something he loved so much, with a body curled up to his side and watching the stars with him.

He could almost feel the body pressing against him, a small tuff of hair underneath him as he ran his fingers through soft curls. The person would groan at wanting to go to bed, Kageyama smiling as he pecked them a goodnight kiss before they turned in for the night.

The next morning, Kageyama thought he had woken up to the sun in his face. Orange hair meets his eyes as he reached out to touch them, the sleeping form unmoving as Kageyama felt his heart stutter. It was the same feeling of emptiness he had felt when he was watching the sunrise in Rio so why… why did he feel the sun was further than ever from him?

“Tobio! Don’t you have practice in half an hour?” Miwa called as she banged on his bedroom door, Kageyama’s eyes snapping to the clock by his bedside to yelp. He was going to be so late for his first meeting back with the Schweiden Adlers.

When he turned back to look at the person next to him, they were gone, Kageyama blinking his eyes several times just to check that he wasn’t crazy.

…

Kageyama might just be going crazy.

Everywhere he went, he was met with the signs of orange hair bobbing through the crowd followed by a voice that made his heart sing. He would trail the bobbing imaginary head for ages, wandering the streets of Tokyo until he realised the person was gone and he was lost to the point he had to call for his sister to pick him up. No matter how many times she chided about him going off on his own and getting lost, Kageyama couldn’t help but feel he was chasing nothing but a phantom of his imagination.

“Hey, Kageyama. Are you ok?” Ushijima asked as they lingered in the locker rooms after a long day of practice. Kageyama’s mind hadn’t been able to focus much on the game that day, always going back to a single ball of sunshine soaring through the air and setting to them. His coach had yelled at him to actually toss to someone instead of to the air, Kageyama praying that his mind wasn’t playing any tricks on him as he shook his head, “I’m fine Ushijima-san.”

“Eh really? You’ve been spacing out a lot today and setting to empty spots,” Hoshiomi piped up as Kageyama grunted in apology.

“Still, its been about a year or so now since it happened right? I’m surprised you even got past him so easily despite how close you two were…” Hoshiumi began to say when Romero clamped a hand on the boy’s mouth, silencing him as he grunted, “Hoshiumi, don’t.”

“What? I was just…”

“Now is not a good time to bring up old scars, Hoshiumi. Sometimes its better to let things remain as they are,” Ushijima grunted as Hoshiumi groaned, Romero loosening his grip on him as he patted Kageyama on the back, “Join us in the izakaya after this. You could use a drink.”

That night, Kageyama wandered back to his apartment and found himself staring at the sky once more, wishing on the stars that he could just remember who the person with the bright hair and smile was.

…

This was not the best time for him to be faltering.

The Schweiden Adlers were playing against the MSBY Black Jackals, the other team putting a much better fight then they thought they would. Bokuto in all his glory was sending killer spikes after another along with Sakusa, the ace and MVP of the college volleyball circuit. Atsumu’s tosses were even better than before, setting to his teammates with accuracy that even Kageyama found himself desiring as the balls kept rocketing towards him.

Why did he feel as though this game was so wrong?

He had seen the player list for the MSBY Black Jackals. Some of them had been acquaintances from his high school days, a time in his life he could barely remember. He only remembers going to nationals in his first and second year but for some reason, what happened in his final year was a blur. Whenever he would try and focus on that particular time, he would come up with a blank and a pounding migraine, a small voice telling him to back off and not to pry deeper into it.

Kageyama could just barely focus as the game went on, trying his best not to look at the other team. One of their rookie players was someone he hadn’t heard off before (or maybe he just didn’t pay attention since he was someone who didn’t remember faces unless they were important) but watching him fly through the air and spiking Atsumu’s balls just made his skin tingle at how wrong the picture was. Whenever he saw him fly, he would picture orange hair and a bright smile, a yell for the ball to be tossed in his direction as Atsumu tossed.

“Kageyama!” a voice yelled as Kageyama jerked out from his thoughts, his brain barely managing to guide his body to toss to Ushijima as the giant spiked the ball, landing them the set and the game overall. Atsumu groaned in frustration from the other side of the net, Sakusa patting his shoulder as Bokuto growled. As all of them lined up and shook hands, he could feel Atsumu’s eyes searching his face as he snarled, “Tell me, Tobio-kun. Was he that meaningless that it was so easy for you to forget?”

“Huh?” Kageyama growled as Atsumu snarled, “You know who I’m talking about. I promised I would toss to him one day but that promise can never be kept because of you.”

“I…”

“Tsum tsum, that’s enough,” Bokuto snapped as he grabbed the player by the shoulder and steered him away, giving Kageyama a nod of apology as they moved to the locker rooms. Kageyama watched as they moved away, fresh tears spilling from Atsumu’s eyes as Bokuto’s grip on his shoulders tightened.

What was Atsumu’s deal?

_“One day, I will toss to you!”_ Atsumu’s voice rang through his head as he pointed to the person standing on his side of the net. Kageyama could make out the mysterious player’s smile, shining as bright as the sun as he grinned, “Sure!”

Kageyama couldn’t stand this anymore.

He needed answers and he needed them before he went mad.

…

It's been years since Kageyama went back to his hometown of Miyagi. Now that he thought about it, he never had a reason to go back after starting his new life in Tokyo, too caught up in the life of a volleyball player to even think of going home. Sure, his parents visited during the New Year and Miwa never suggested going back to Miyagi for some reason…

Now things were just getting more and more suspicious.

His room was the same as ever as he stepped into the house. For some reason though, it seemed much barer than it should have, although his usual volleyball merchandise littered the room. The small shirt of the Little Falcons he had got from his grandfather was framed on the wall, Kageyama smiling as he thought of paying the old man a visit later. His parents were off at work for the day, leaving him to wander around town by himself.

He found himself visiting his grandfather first, speaking to him and burning incense before heading off towards town. There he went on to his former high school, the students going mad at the sight of the pro player and begging for his signature. Ukai and Takeda-sensei were still in charge of the club, the two men smiling as they greeted him. As much as they were smiling and saying how well the club was doing, they looked as though they were avoiding a certain subject that Kageyama knew he needed answers for, although he didn’t know if he would regret asking them.

He was dragged to the clubroom by the high schoolers, Ukai yelling at them not to break any of his bones as he was ushered into the cramped space. It has been so long since he stepped in but the smell of salonpas and stinking gym clothes greeted Kageyama’s nose, taking in the sight of volleyballs and clothes scattered across the floor. He still remembers the time he had to study here with Tsukishima and Yamaguchi in his first year, complaining about how Japanese people shouldn’t have to learn English when he heard a voice pipe up in his memory.

“Bakeyama!”

The nickname made Kageyama’s heartache, his hand moving to clutch his chest as he heard some voiced snapping him back into reality.

“Kageyama-senpai, are you ok?! You look like you’re about to have a heart attack!” one of the boys yelped as his friend groaned, “I knew we shouldn’t have brought him here. It would be too nostalgic for him!”

“Don’t worry, I’m fine,” Kageyama tried to smile but taking in the sight of the room was already making his mind spin as the players looked at him with concern.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to stir up memories of your past! I know it must still hurt from losing him even though its been years and all…”

“Hey, Aoki! Shut up!” a boy snapped as Kageyama cocked his head, “I’m sorry, who?”

Now it was the boys staring at him, Aoki’s jaw almost dropping as he slowly pointed to the lone picture hanging on the wall of Kageyama’s third year in the club. For some reason, he had lost his own copy of it and after failing to get a new one, he had just let it be. Seeing the picture made his heart clench as he saw his third-year self glaring at the camera, Yachi posed in between them as Tsukishima stood next to him. Yamaguchi had his arm thrown over Tsukishima, a peace sign in hand as an orange-haired boy held Kageyama’s middle, his smile bright as Kageyama breathed…

“Shouyou.”

How? How did he forget about him? How could he have forgotten about him after all this time?

How could he have forgotten the smile that brought him out of the darkness that enveloped him when his grandfather died?

How could he have forgotten the voice and the smile of the person who high fived him whenever they won a game on the court?

How did he forget the person he loved the most in the whole wide world?

“Kageyama-san!” Aoki yelled after him as Kageyama ran out of the clubroom, shoving past students as he ran out of the school. As he ran, he could slowly feel the images coming back to him, his heart pounding so fast that he thought he might actually die as the scenes flooded back into his head.

_“Gah! We were so close!” Hinata groaned as he retrieved his bike from the bicycle shed. After a hard battle in Tokyo, they had come in as the third-best team in the nation, something that shouldn’t be shouted about but Kageyama knew Hinata only wanted to be the top. They already had their asses handed to them in their second year by the Miya twins and Hinata had been adamant about making sure they won that year._

_“Baka! We’re still good!”_

_“Eh? I never know you would settle for third place, Bakayama!”_

_“Oi!”_

_“Hey, you two sure have so much energy after such a long ride. Its already midnight so pipe it down!” Tsukishima yawned as Yamaguchi trailed behind him. The green-haired boy was close to sleeping as he clung onto his best friend, groaning for them to shut up or face his wrath as Hinata turned to Kageyama._

_“Race to your house! The winner gets ten meat buns tomorrow!” Hinata grinned Kageyama smirked, “You’re on!”_

_Both of them ran out of the school compound before Yamaguchi could yell at them to stop, their feet carrying them down the snowy plains of the road as they ran. Hinata had left his bike back at the school since he said he wouldn’t want Kageyama to have an unfair fight, both of them grinning as they raced each other. Kageyama almost fell on his face several times as they ran, their laughter ringing across the dark sky as Kageyama smiled._

_Oh, how much he loved this idiot._

_No matter how many times he told him, he still wouldn’t be able to tell how much he had saved him from his darkest times._

_Once this was over, he was going to ask him to move in with him. Heck, if both of them made it to the Olympic team (he knew he would but Hinata was a totally different issue), he might even propose for him in front of the cameras. Kageyama already had an idea of how to propose and everything; his dumb mind was at least capable of other stuff than just volleyball when he met Hinata._

_“Oi, Hinata!” Kageyama yelled, his heart slamming against his chest as he tried to say the words, his vision blurred from the darkness and his fatigue when he heard the tale tail signs of a car screeching its tires. The next thing he knew, Hinata was screaming for him to get out of the way, Kageyama barely feeling his body moving when everything turned black and the next thing he knew, sirens were filling the air as blood filled his vision._

No. it couldn’t be true.

He couldn’t have been the one to kill him.

No… no… Hinata had to be alive.

No…

_Kageyama lay in a white bed, bandages wrapping his body as the doctor broke the news to him. His mind was in a blur as he barely processed the words, his mind going back to the single moment that took away the person he loved forever as the words washed over him._

_“You escaped with minor injuries.”_

_“Hinata was unable to survive.”_

_‘He got hit by the car and lost his life on the spot.”_

_‘He put himself in danger to protect you.”_

_“I’m sorry for your loss.”_

All this time, he thought he had seen him in front of him.

All this time, Kageyama had the person he was looking for locked away in his deepest memories.

All this time, he wanted to believe that this person was real.

Only to find out that he was a ghost of his past that he had cruelly struck out from his mind when he couldn’t handle the reality of losing him.

Now as he stood in the very same spot where he had lost Hinata, his knuckles white as he sank to his knees, gripping the sides of his pants as he cried, his grandfather’s words washed over him, pain striking his heart at how he would never play with the person who meant so much to him anymore.

_“Y’know Tobio… if you get really, reeeeally good, you’ll get to play lots more games. The best players get to play lots and lots of volleyball. If you get really good… I promise you… somebody who’s even better will come along and find you,”_ his grandfather whispered to him as Hinata’s voice followed after, _“If you’re the king that rules the court, I will have to defeat you. I will defeat you and go to nationals!”_

Even as passerby stared at the boy sobbing on the concrete, Kageyama could never forgive himself for forgetting Hinata for so long, his body shaking until he felt a gentle hand patting his back, the same hand that helped him to his feet when they lost to Aoba Johsai so many years ago.

“Kageyama,” Daichi whispered as Kageyama looked up to his old captain, tears staining his face as Daichi slowly hugged him, cradling the crying boy as he whispered, “Shhh, it's alright. You’re alright.”

“I forgot about him, Daichi-san. How could I forget about him.”

Daichi didn’t say anything for a while until he ushered him into his car, settling the boy in as he got behind the wheel. He drove Kageyama back to his house, Kageyama never stopping his crying until they reached his front door, Daichi slowly helping him out as he finally said, “Sometimes, if we lose the things most precious to us, we try to forget they existed to avoid feeling the pain. When Hinata died, I thought you might lose your mind but you fought on… and we can never be prouder of you, Kageyama.”

Kageyama sniffled as his former captain bid him good day before going back on his patrol, Kageyama shuffling into his house and into his room where he fell into his bed. Now the scent of sunshine made sense to him; Hinata had been his sun and his whole world had revolved around him.

_“Tobio, I love you,”_ Hinata whispered to him as Kageyama started to cry once more, sobbing into his pillow as he tried to remember how it was like to hold onto Hinata.

“I love you too, Shou. I love you so, so much.”

**Author's Note:**

> I think it was quite obvious from the start that Hinata died but if you only just realised it in the end, sorry?
> 
> Please leave some kudos and comments! They really make my day!


End file.
